1、时态不是最好
叙述故事童话、小说用一般现在时
2、took one bite ▶takes a bite
3、And she and the prince got married the very next day.一句好像“各自结婚了”,表述为两者结婚一般这样
▶ And she marries her Prince Charming the very next day.
4、She dressed up like an old beggar woman 词序
▶ She dresses up like an old woman beggar.
5、在''their prayers were answered when a handsome prince cane ''中
可能是你打错了 cane作came
其他都还不错,不过可以再雕琢一下偶!