整篇来说,有"we"又有"your",可能会搞得你文章的读者混乱,你究竟是用第一人称还是第二人称?最好整篇文章保持一种人称,除非你是要特显出你和读者之间的不同.
everybody是作为单数的不定代词,所以我建议：
I think everybody have their own opinion where the place they desired to go or visit.
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I think everybody has his/her own opinion about what place he/she desires to go or visit.（或者用where代替what place)
We do many things and go to almost two places every day:your home and your school.
建议改成：
We have many activities to do but almost go between two places only,where are schools and homes.
Maybe less people prefer staying in a place because they're obsessed with computer games or watching televisions."less"用在有比较的时候吧.建议换成"a few"或"some"或...
没有说运动的好处,在总结的时候却忽然说"it is better to do some sports outside than ..."太有跳跃性了吧?
插入建议：
Nevertheless,sport can be fun and helps both our body and our mind to relax,so it makes us healthier.
"waste your time relaxing".relax不能算waste吧?建议改成：to waste our life.改完后又好像说的严重了一点.
最后变成这样：
My answer is:Of course not.Our life is interesting,which is filled with a myriad of different things.We live in this big city.We have many activities to do but almost go between two places only,where are schools and homes.It seems that we are forced by the situation in a way,however,I think everybody has his/her own opinion about what place he/she desires to go or visit.Maybe some people prefer staying in a place because they're obsessed with computer games or watching televisions.Nevertheless,sport can be fun and helps both our body and our mind to relax,so it makes us healthier.In a word,it is better to do some sports outside than to stay in the same place continuously to waste our life.
PS：本人非英文老师或英语为母语的人,所以可能上面会有不少不适合的建议.
刚才看到你的题目：Do you perfer staying in a place all your life?
你写的内容离题了吧?orz
题目问你会不会搬去其他地方之类的,你最后扯到运动来了.囧
你应该对比一下只住在一个地方的好坏和换个新地方居住的好坏,然后总结一下只住一个地方还是换个地方,换种生活方式好.