1,应写成Oct.the first或者Oct.1st,
2,最好说It is an important day in china.
3,如果你想表示我们放一整天假的意思建议改成We have the holiday for a whole day.
4In the afternoon,I played the computer games,,改成.
5.应改成How interesting they are!
6,In the evening,I did some homework and ate some nice fruit.
7,I hope that i can have a good dream.
8,Today i am exited,and i have a good time.
最后汗一把