第一段 I like automobiles.Automobiles are the fastest one of the civil products since the invention of the traffic tools.
错误分析：
1.the fastest one of the civil products 应该为 one of the fastest civil products
第二段 It provides people with comfortable driving condition because of its superior functions.It also satisfies different requirements of various kinds of people due to its constantly appearence designs.It owns the day to day safety assurance system,which reduces the unsafety that high speed driving could brings as far as possible.It has successfully been the indispensable part of people's lives in modern society.
错误分析：
2.It provides people with comfortable driving condition because of its superior functions 要么用代词 they provide people with …because of their superior functions 呼应上文,要么改为 an automobile provides people with … because of its superior functions.
3.后面的 和 its 按照第二条意见逐一改动,同时要注意其他名词与所用主语的数的一致,如 It satisfies … due to its constantly appearence design 或者 they satisfy … due to their constantly appearence designs
4.could brings as far as possible 情态动词 could 后要用动词原形 bring
第三段 However,the negative effect that it produced has been continuouslly taking on as one of the reasons that the vehicles commoditization causes the global warming.The number of people died and hurt in annual traffic accidents has been gradually increasing.In China,one person dies in the traffic accidents every five minutes.One person can be hurted in the traffic accidents every one minute.More and more automobiles have caused the traffic jams in every cities.These are the unavoidable drawbacks that automobiles bring us convience at the same time.
错误分析：
5.the vehicles commoditization 改为 the commoditization of vehicles 比较符合语法.
6.one person dies in the traffic accidents every five minutes 中 one person 泛指某一个人,如果改为 There is one person dying in the traffic accidents every five minutes 就合理了.同理,有一句话也应该如此处理,或者改为与前一举并列 and one person being able to be hurted in the traffic accidents every one minute.
7.These are the unavoidable drawbacks 中的 the 应该删除.
第四段 If people obey the traffic rules strictly ,drive safely and take public transportation as much as possible,the negtive effects can be reduced to the lowest point.
错误分析：
8.take public transportation 用 take 表示“乘坐”应该跟具体名词,此处可以改为 take public vehicles,或者把动词换为 go,后面用 by means of public transportation.
第五段 We can not stop the progress of modern technologies but can avoid the harmfulness that it can bring.In this way,we can still enjoy automobiles.