朋友,这篇文章应该超不过9分.理由：首先还是要恭喜你一下的,因为4、7、8、9这几句基本上没问题.不足之处：第一、二句都是缺乏谓语的；第三句应用连词and 串起,不然就成了中式英语了；第五句的转折词应该是however 表示转折,因为你前面说的是好的方面,接下来说的不好的方面；第六句不用are,否则call for 就不是谓语,又变成没谓语的了.
修改版：（1） In recent years, many talent-search shows are held on campus, which has been brought into focus. （2）Many students are eager to take part in the talent-seach shows on campus,such as "Happy boy"、“Beautiful girl” and so on.
( 3 ) As we all know,talent-search shows make our college life more colorful and bring great influence to us. ( 4 ) They can not only increase our confidence ,but also provide a chance for us to show ourselves completely. ( 5 ).However,they may bring some negative effects at the same time. ( 6 )these shows call for so much time that students have no time to concentrate on their studies.
( 7 ) From my opinion of view, every coin has two sides and so do talent-search shows. ( 8 )As college students. we should attend various activities positively when we have time, but we can't spend too much time to do that.( 9 )We should keep a balance between our our study and acitvities .