1.once i had i fever.she looked after me night and day
had i fever改为had a fever
点号改为逗号
night and day改为day and night
2.if she didn't take care of me such great,i wouldn't get well such quickly.
这里应该是虚拟语气
didn't take改为hadn't taken
wouldn't get改为wouldn't have got
3.besides that
应去掉that
4.and she has to get up early to prepare breakfast.
这里and应该为so
5.getting angry on me
angry改为anger
on改为with
6.最后一句时态应是一般现在时
（she said that everything would go well soon.）