I 【have 过去式,had】 a very interesting summer vacation this year.I spent my summer vacation with my family.
We went to【加:the】 park.【It's so beautiful and green.这句翻译出来好像有点问题,建议删去:and green】 There were many trees and flowers. There people were very finendiy. People were singing and dancing in the park. some were taking photos. 【加:The】others were playing games. We had great fun playing in the park.
Next,we went shopping. the supermarket was too 【cranded 单词错误,拥挤是Crowded】. but the goods were great and 【加:the price were(商品不能用便宜来形容,便宜应该来形容价格)】cheap. so we bought some goods. we felt pretty happy.
This is my summer vacation, a joyful 【删去:and short(我觉得这个有点多余的吧)】vacation. I like it very much.
有问题的地方我都用【 】圈出来了,自己看看,这些都是我的意见,你可以考虑下.其实我觉得My summer vacation这个题,你写的作文本身好像就有点问题,这个题目应该是让你介绍你整个暑假的经历,当然不是让你把每一天的经历都写出来,大概的概况,例如什么我经常帮爸爸妈妈干家务,没事的时候我们去旅游去看望爷爷奶奶,我什么时候写作业,我一天大概是怎么安排的.你可以写这方面的东西,当然这些都是我个人的理解和建议,你可以不采纳,但是还是考虑下吧.(*^__^*) 希望英语越来越好哦~加油~↖(^ω^)↗