marvellous.
here's my comments,maybe could help u:
no "as for",no"they".
by savourin' the images of (i think maybe need some adjtives here to describ the images like)lovely birds,vernal breeze,limpid moon and so on.when wandered in poems.
harvest flies.
others.
except for these sorts of feelin's,
seems "ourself" and "our heart" no match,"ourself" with "my heart" or " ourselves" with "our hearts"?
and "minister of chu" sounds weird,should it be "qu yuan WAS exiled from his country resentfully as well as zhaojun farewelled palace of han dolorously"?
wot does "who of them" mean,"bodies"?seems no make sense.and wb "qu yuan and zhao qun",no more words?
souls
the others
became spearmen
from the border pushed 'em into wars combatively.
杀气雄边death of bloodlust filled in the air
no "another example".u got too much "examples",'s broken the rhythm of the original.
suffered sadness and sniverlin' in her boudoir everyday
"at the top of your lungs"?i think in grammar should be "her lungs",and this expression sounds really funny here,y u must use it?
some scholars handed their jewelry out to resign from the royal and never come back.
and some beauties('cuz "扬蛾" means hot gals,o neat,got it)won emperor's grace by their charm,hoped to be the most fascinatin' woman out of the country.
where's "凡斯种种,感荡心灵,非陈诗何以展其义?非长歌何以骋其情?
did u say"except for these poems,what can we depend on to express ourself when the scenes touch our heart"?
all of the stuffs like these,touchin' our hearts,what else ways can be used to express the meanin's completely and the feelin's optionally except poems?
so as the sayin' go--->so it says
poets,but i think it may be "poems,could either be placid or complaining".