求改下托福作文啊,嗨此生第一次写作文啊,写了2个多小时

1个回答

  • Obviously ,setting up a new factory in the community will bring many benefits for the local residence;however,the sewage and wastes that are produced by the factory greatly affects the local people's life.

    On the bright side,the factory stimulates the economy of the community.Firstly,the new factory can stimulates the local economy and provides a substantial amount of working opportunities; therefore,the local people could begin to open grocery stores,restaurants,and entertainments to serve workers who are working in the factory.Due to the revenue increase,local people could send their children to high school or let them obtain a better education.As a result,establish a new enterprise also can improve the local education horizon.

    On the other hand,open up a new factory could pollute the environment.It absorbs many immigrants and could eventually lead to issue like water defiant ,excessively inflated population and so on.

    Merely ,there is no doubt that the new enterprise will contaminate the local environment and water resource,which might be a big issue .It can not be benificial to everyone because of the possibilities of water contamination.

    In conclusion,I believe that starting a new factory do have suffience merits ,however ,we can not ignore the disadventages because of the benefits .we must carefully weight both sides and decide what we need to do,mustn't we.

    你写的还不错,不过我又帮你改了好多~现在应该可以了.如果还有问题可以再问我.

    好累阿~!不过我是第一个回答的呢:)

    :)