我认为有.
首先是人称不一致.你后面说的是you怎么怎么样,前面的主语却是it.所以应该将it改为you.
还有就是feel后面加的应该是形容词,例如good,bad等,而你的句子却加的是名词.我建议将feel改为get.
最后就是At the moment和 when重复了,随便去掉一个就行了.
这只是我的个人建议,希望对你有所帮助,也祝愿你英语进步.
At the moment when it learns how to speak,walk or run,you’ll
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