【评点】
Yesterday Iwent to climb the mountain (爬山是一种活动,需要用 went climbing to themountain with my father,(逗号要改为句号或分号) our carstopped (parked) at a very high (删除 very)at the foot of the mountain,that is when two o’clock (改为由 when引导时间状语从句 when it was two o’clock).
At ten pasttwo,we started to climbing the mountain (改为开始具体行为的 started同climb),(改为句号) themountain was very steep (山势险峻仍然是现在的情况,改为现在时态).Twohours later,we climbed up (添加介词 to表示向上爬到山顶) the topof the mountain.We were very happy.The mountain’s air (mountain无生命,不用所有格形式) was veryfresh,and the scenery was very beautiful,I was very happy (与前文重复,改为“我尽情享受”).
I like themountains,I like the trip.
【修改后的全文】
Yesterday Iwent climbing to themountain with my father; our car stopped at a high at the foot of the mountain,when it was two o’clock.
At ten pasttwo,we started to climb the mountain.The mountain is very steep.Two hourslater,we climbed up to the top of the mountain.We were very happy.The air onthe mountaintop was very fresh,and the scenery was very beautiful,I enjoyed itas much as I like.
I like the mountains,I like the trip.