Today,it seems as though we’re bombarded from all sides with so-called recipes for success.Images of what success looks like.Tactics to make us more successful.Warnings that what we’re doing right now might be sabotaging our success.
The implicit understanding being that we’ll do thisthing,this way if we want to be successful.And we won’t do any more of that thing.
All of this exists for a simple reason.We want to feel successful.Successful feels good.Successful is what we are supposed to want to be,right?
Where we run into trouble,though,is that it’s not always clear what we’re striving for.And sometimes,even when it’s clear where we’re headed,that destination feels somewhat disconnected from what we really want or who we know ourselves to be.
When we’re chasing after other people’s definitions of success,there are questions we don’t ask.
It’s really easy to chase other people’s success instead of defining and creating our own,our way.Most of us do this at some point in our lives.Because that is what happens when we’re leading ourselves around by the outside instead of spending a little time getting to know who we are on the inside.We spend more time listening to others – mentors,role models,peers,friends and family – instead of trusting that we might have a different and equally valid vision.
What happens?We become even more susceptible to outside influences.We compare.Something doesn’t feel quite right.We can’t seem to achieve things like work-life balance.We’re stressed far too much of the time.
Recipes are great jumping off points.They are experiments and references.They help us to not reinvent perfectly good wheels.But unless you’ve written them yourself,you’ll need to dig a little deeper for lasting satisfaction.What works for someone else may not be what nourishes you.
Just like cooking a delicious meal,unless you know what you’re hungry for and what ingredients you have to work with,a recipe isn’t going to do much good.
In my life,I’ve always been more of a rule bender than a rule follower.(My strengths profiles reframe this as creativity,innovation and big picture thinking.) And although I love trying out new recipes,I nearly always modify the recipe as I’m cooking.
Maybe I don’t have that much garlic.Maybe a little spice change would taste better to me.Maybe there are 3 recipes that all sound good and I wonder what it would taste like if I blended them together.
If you’re feeling stressed by success— how to achieve it,whether you’ll get there,how to juggle it all,the burden of having “made it” – I invite you to revisit your beliefs about success.Find out what’s underneath it all for you.What’s your recipe?
When you say you want to be successful,what do you really mean by that?
When someone points out your successes,what’s your response?
When you’re feeling most successful,what’s happening?What does it look like?
How do you feel when you are successful?
Spend some time defining success for yourself.Say yes to success,your way.