it is a pleasure for me to write this letter to tell how much i enjoyed my stay in your whole family last week.
my stay in your whole family中的in改成with.
stay with sb.与某人一起,与 ...留在一起.
很高兴写这封信告诉你们：上周与你们一家人在一起的时光是多么的快活!
改错it is a pleasure for me to write this letter to
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