我是一名英语专业的应届毕业生,我觉得你的文章写得还可以,注意一下每句之间的连接词就好.
第一篇
That’s really an unforgettable day in my mind! It seems that 3 hours passed so quickly as we sang and chatted happily on the bus. And the mountain-climbing contest and boat rowing race were so exciting that we were all excited about it!Although one of our groupmates Sarah was injured in the mountain-climbing contest,she still went on climbing.I really admired her! Finally our group got a second prize,we were all on top of the world.During the picnic we ate sandwiches which were made and brought by Helen. What's more when we were walking around the lake I took many photos of the swans in the lake.Having enjoyed ourselves we left there with a beautiful memory at 5:30.