My winter holiday is very dull.
此句建议用过去时,改为：My winter holiday was very dull.
I stay at home for most of time.
此句时态不对,因为有for,所以要用完成时,而且应该是most of (the) time,原句中缺少了定冠词,改为：I have stayed at home for most of the time.
I always homework.
此句缺少动词,改为：I always did my homework.
但是我建议这句句子和上面那句合并较好,即：I have stayed at home for most of the time.+I have always done my homework.→I have stayed at home and done my homework for most of the time.
I usually help my parents do household chores.
这里没必要用usually,且help正确的用法是help sb.to do sth.,改为：I helped my parents to do some household chores.
During winter break we have had a happy Spring Festival.
此句中寒假的正确表达是winter vacation而不是winter break,且这里可直接用一般过去时而非现在完成时,改为：During winter vacation we had a happy Spring Festival.
My father and mother gave me a prepared
New Year's money.
money不可数所以不能用a而是用定冠词the,new year直接小写就可以了,还有如果你想用prepare不如这样写,改为：My father and mother prepared the new year's money for me.(不用prepare的话则可写成：My father and mother gave me the new year's money.)
I and my fellow students to do volunteer bookstores and supermarkets.
英语里习惯把I放在最后,如：You,he and "I";fellow是同学的意思,所以my fellow students的意思就成了“我的同学学生”,还是去掉students好,还有这里不需要在动词前加to,“volunteer bookstores and supermarkets”→ bookstores and supermarkets' volunteer(s),改为：My fellow and I became the bookstores and supermarkets' volunteers.
We work very hard.
这里要用过去时,改为：We worked very hard.
I have read some books and read "Affan up" the film.
用过去时就可以了,还有电影是watch的而不是read的,the film不能放在
Affan up后面,改为：I read some books and watched a film called "Affan up" .
It is very interesting.
前面提到了some books and watched a film called "Affan up",所以it is变成they are 改为：They are very interesting.
整理后全文如下：My winter holiday was very dull.I have stayed at home and done my homework for most of the time.I helped my parents to do some household chores.During winter vacation we had a happy Spring Festival.My father and mother prepared the new year's money for me.My fellow and I became the bookstores and supermarkets' volunteers.We worked very hard.I read some books and watched a film called "Affan up" .They are very interesting.
你总体写的很好哦~
回答完毕~,