你这个文章里的错误还是不少的啊,可以改的地方太多.
She is a cute girl and turning 18 years old this year.She just celebrated her 18th birthday last month.She was born in China and lived there untile she was 16(是么?）.She came to the US two years ago.
She likes Jazz music,and badminton is her favorite sport.She has a nice sister who has helped her through many difficulties.Her father is a funny person where her personality inherit from.I love the wonderful sense of humor of her family.
Eva is her best friend when she was in China.Selena is her first best friend in Los Angeles senior high school.They often hang out together.She has planto visit several plaves recently.She wants to travel to South Korea to meet Korea’s pop stars.She also like Taiwan and to try those abundant delicious food.She want to go to visit many friends in New York.
.When I feel down,she always cares about me.I really appreciate her as a life-time friends.I hope we will be best friends forever.
整体来说段落很简单,也很质朴.但是很多地方重复的太多.最后一句话尤其是.