A Girl Just Like Mother
No matter which girl he brought home,the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice．
“Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her．
So the young man searched and searched,and finally found the girl．He told his friendly adviser：
“Just like you said,I found a girl who looked,talked,dressed,and even cooked like mother．And just as you said,mother liked her”
“So,”asked the friend,“what happened?”
“Nothing,”said the young man．“My father hates her!”
和母亲一样的女孩
无论带哪一个女孩回家,这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对.一位朋友劝他说：
“找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她.”
于是这位青年人不停地找啊找,终于找到了这么个女孩.
他对他友好的忠告者说：
“正像你说的那样,我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮,甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩.也正像你说的那样,我母亲喜欢她.”
“那后来呢?”朋友问.
“没什么,”青年人说.“我父亲讨厌她!”
A Useful Lesson
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar．
Mr． Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often,but he never took his son,Tom,because he was too young． Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday,Mr．Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time．They drank for half an hour,and then Mr．Thompson said to his son,“Now,Tom,I want to teach you a useful lesson．You must always be careful not to drink too much． And how do you know when you've had enough?Well,I'll tell you．Do you see those two lights at the end of the bar?When they seem to have become four,you've had enough and should go home．”
“But,Dad,” said Tom,“I can only see one light at the end of the bar．”
有益的教训
在英国,十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒.
汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒,但他从来不带他的儿子汤姆去,因为他年纪太小.后来,当汤姆年满十八岁的时候,汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧.他们喝了半个小时,而后,汤普森先生对他儿子说：“汤姆,现在我要告诉你一个有益的教训.你必须时时小心不要喝得太多.你怎么知道你喝够了呢?好,我来告诉你.你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗?当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候,你就喝够了,应该回家了.
“可是,爸爸.”汤姆说：“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯.”
I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies.The nurse comes up to the first man and says,"Congratulations,you got twins." The man said "How strange,I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,"Congratulations,you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm,strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally,the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations,you got twins x2." Man is happy and says,"Ironic,I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place,cursing God and banging his head on the wall.They asked him what's wrong and he answered,"What's wrong?I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"