你写得没什么大错，就看见一小处：as things can’t always *be* perfect。另外最好是cannot。
帮你写了几句如下，供你参考：
.... In addition to the general college entrance examination, independent enrollment provides a second source for universities to select talented students, as well as an additional path for really able students going to famous universities. More importantly, by allowing universities to design their own tests, independent enrollment promotes the overall development of students. And meanwhile, it reduces students' stress of entrance examination. However, potential side effects of independent enrollment also exist, and careful consideration must be taken. ....