第一排 “I have played all day”
第二排 parents
第三排 went shopping
第四排 没有转折语气 最好用 and
第五排 Japanese restaurant it was very.
第六排 直接用 went to cinema ,或者saw a movie .the movie named Avater ,
第七排 the length of the film was 16minutes ,it was very good
第八 went to swim in Kowloon Park's swimming pool 你是不是想表达 水脏 ,dirty 好些
第九 parents ate 改成eat
第十 如英国想表达“和” 就 把 with 改成and,it is very yummy.next time 改成 then
第十一 改成play
十二 friends “we singer very happy” 不知道你要表达什么 应该是 we felt very happy ,后面一句,I went home at daybreak
格式 左上角是日期(年、月、日)、星期 应是 June 14th