第一行 some...,while others...
most people regard the success...
句子和句子之间要用句号,或者连接词,注意语法
例子还要再展开具体一点
不要重复用某些词,像happiness,换词
句式要多样一点
托福作文求批改.同不同意-----Your job has more effect on your happiness
2个回答
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请问这段话有语法错误吗?When asked about your job has more affected on y
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Happy be your one people
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— We are happy with your new job as the manager