你的作文3处较严重语法错误,字写错了2个,标点大小写错误4处,内容有待充实.第一项最多8分,第二项最多12-3-6x0.5=6,这样14分左右.（声明：我没干过老师,看下面的标准来评的,仅供参考)
高考作文评分标准：
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1． 内容要求：
A档 10分 重点明确,内容充实
B档 8分 重点明确,内容较充实
C档 6分 重点明确,但内容单薄
D档 4分 重点不明确,内容松散
E档 2分 严重离题.
2． 语言要求：
⑴ 语言表达正确,文字流畅.（12分）
⑵ 语法、措词等错误,每处扣一分,同一错误不重复扣分.
⑶ 单词拼写、标点符号、大小写等错误,每处扣0.5分,同一错误不重复扣分.
⑷ 每句扣分不超过2分
⑸ 语言分最多扣12分
3． 组织结构要求：
凡内容和语言两部分得分超过16分,词数超过120个,并符合下列条件者可加分.
(1) 凡全文的措词、句子结构、上下文连贯性等方面较出色者,可酌情加1－2分.
(2) 凡内容充实、语言正确、句子连贯、用词贴切的优秀作文,可加3分.
4． 词数要求：
词数不足120个酌情扣分；词数少于60个,总分得分最多不超过10分.
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Great changes in my hometown
==>英文标题的大小写：实词（名词、动词、代词、形容词、副词等）首字母大写,虚词（介词、冠词、连词、感叹词）首字母小写.所以这样较好：
Great Changes in My Hometown
I remember when I was a child ,my hometown was only a small city,And the fields were not far from my home.
==>包括“And the fields were not far from my home”都是remember宾语的一部分,And小写.
So if you want to have a good breath,you could walk to that fields for having a good breath.
==>建议：
1.不管是什么语言都忌重复,重复会让人不舒服.上半句下半句重复have a good breath.
2.walk的实词意味较浓,强调是用脚走,建议用go.
3.if从句用虚拟语气是从句用过去时态,主句用一般时态.
4.上文提到的东西,再次提到,用定冠词比较好.
所以建议整句改为：
So if you wanted to have a good breath,you can go to the fields for a rest.(本句只有第3条可以算是语法错误)
Now,about 15 years ago,my hometown has great changes.
==>1.Now多余.2.语法错误：about 15 years ago是个过去的时间,要用过去时.也可以改成完成时,这样都可以：
(1).About 15 years ago,my hometown had/got great changes.
(2).Since about 15 years ago,my hometown has had/got great changes.
(3).My hometown has had/got great changes in recent 15 years.
For example:every fields were changed into the big buildings ,and there are more and more cars across on the street here and there.
==>1.For example后面的标点应该是逗号,跟汉语不同.英语跟汉语使用标点符号的规则有所不同,比如书名号《》在英语中是没有的,一般用斜体字或用引号.2.every,each后面应该用单数形式.3.复数名词第一次提到,如果不是特指、习惯搭配,所以the big buildings前面的定冠词the建议去掉.
But (加now) if you want to relax and have a good breath,you’d better to find the fields from the city edge..
==>建议：根据上下文的意思,加now加强语气.find一般跟in搭配,from改成in较好.
语法错误：you'd better后面直接跟动词原形,不能要to.
I’m pleased to have this developed hometown,but I’ll never forget the home which was clean and beaut before then.
==>beautiful写错了."before then"中的before多余,then可以表达“当时的”.另外,developed是“发达的”是不是改成“developing”(正在发展的)较好?
整句改为：I’m pleased to have this developing hometown,but I’ll never forget the home which was clean and beautiful then.