The IBM-ETP training classes have begun, and these days we have been listening to some of the reports, panelists were two women from IBM. The quality of the reports is worse(这是更不好的意思,质量只有好坏,没有多少) than that (主语是quality,所以用that) online, but we can also get something from the reports. From the report of “IBM’s corporate culture” I learned a great emphasis of the IBM's spirit (最好不用on the spirit): appreciation, respect, trust and sharing. In the report of “Business Etiquette” I have learned to pay attention to some of the working world, for example: clothes, communication and so on. I was most impressed by(去掉on) the report "Time Management" I have learned a number of ways to manage my time better(better放后面). There is a large stone theory: to plenty(用plenty即可表可数也可表不可数) of sand, water and large stones which is(用个定语从句,which,that都可以)to be put in a bucket, if we first put the sand and water into the bucket, and maybe we can not put stones in(这里这样改一下). If we put(加动词) the stone into the bucket first, and then add (不特指可不加the)sand, then water, then sand and water will go into the bucket through the gap between the stones. The same thing applies to time management, we can focus on some very important things, and something that is(这里不可以直接用不定代词加形容词的形式,最好变成定语从句) not that(用that代替so更地道些,so更好用在肯定句中) important can be accomplished in spare (闲余时间)space. If we feel we are very busy recently, but (可以省略主语)do not know what makes us(这样的主语从句更正确) in busy, we can set out a list every night, writing(用现在分词表伴随,不然的话就要在write前加and) down what we have done that day, in that way we can see what had taken us much time(这样的主语从句更正确) clearly.
Lightweight enterprise development learning: learning Hibernate now, and some of the problems encountered cannot figure them out by myself for a(老用very的话会显得很不地道,而且这里要用也最好用quite) long time,I(其实上面整句都表意不清,我不好怎么改,先加个主语再说) still cannot find out online. Finally, I have to ask my teacher to help me; my teacher always pointed out (去掉that) the crux of the problem quickly. I need to make great efforts to upgrade my technology.
整篇文章用句和词都很生硬,有些地方我甚至看不懂表达的意思.如果还想改的更好,或大规模重写一遍,可以再联系我.