雅思大作文,帮忙看看小妹的,评分+建议

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1.过度使用同类型从句：提倡使用从句,但是您的从句基本同类型的（状语、名词性从句）,建议努力把一句话变成两句话或多句话来表达；“A lot of people want to buy a car,which causes growing traffic and it genera...