1.Whose Son Is the Greatest
The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons."My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman."When he enters a room,people say,'Hello,Monsignor'."
The second mother went on,"My son is a bishop.When he enters a room,people say,'Hello,Your Excellency'."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one."When he enters a room,people say,'Hello,Your Eminence'.
" The fourth mother thought for a moment."My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds," she said."When he enters a room,people say,'Oh,my God'!"
谁的儿子最伟大
四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子.“我的儿子是个教士,”第一位母亲自豪地说道,“他进入房间,人们都说,阁下’.”
第二为母亲说：“我的儿子是位主教.他进入房间,人们都称,大人’.”
“我的儿子是位红衣主教,”第三位母亲接着说,“他走进房间,人们都说,尊敬的主教大人’.”
第四位母亲略思片刻.“我的儿子身高六英尺十,体重三百磅,”她说,“他要是走入房间,人们都说‘哦,我的上帝’!”
2.A Holiday from School
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed,he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
If he had a headache,he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
He spent more time at home than he did at school.
On the days that he did go to school,he looked for excuses to come home early.
One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
His father was surprised.
"You've come home early," he said."Is the school closed today?"
"No,Dad," Tommy said - "It's open.I came home early.
"How did you do that?" his father asked him."What did you say to the teacher?"
"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you ."
"But your mother has had twins," his father said,"a boy and a girl.You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."
"Yes,I know,Dad," Tommy said."I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "
汤姆讨厌上学,总是找借口不去上学.
如果他打喷嚏,他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了.
如果他头痛,他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病.
他呆在家里的时间比在学校的时间要多.
在他的确去上学的日子里,他就找借口早点回家.
一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了.
他爸爸很惊讶.
“你回来很早,”他爸爸问,“今天学校放学了吗?”
“没有,爸爸,”汤姆说,“还没放学.我提前回来了.”
“你怎么会提前回来了?”爸爸问,“你对老师说什么了?”
“我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟,我得回家帮你.”
“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎,”爸爸说,“一个男孩,一个女孩.你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹.”
“是的,我知道,爸爸,”汤姆说,“我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了.”