第四行：water有复数吗?
"The other one is the Mt.Qingcheng,known as the fifth among the most famous Taoism Mountains in China,is the place where the Taoism came into being."我觉得应该为：
“The other one is Mt.Qingcheng,known as the fifth of the rank of the most famous Taoism Mountains in Chian,which is the place the Taoism came into being.”
"one of the most influential religions of East Asia over a long period of history"前应加“which is”不然指代不清
鉴于本人水平有限,以上均为本人感觉而得之意见,若有错误还请见谅；若还有其他错误,那就拜托其他网友了