你那么写是可以 每个人的论据都不可能一样 论点是一样 论据是各种各样的 但是我看楼主写的挺抽象的 比如 什么样的shortages 你要简单例举出来 否则读者都没有感触 5分和6分作文就是差别在于论据的逻辑和具体性 都说雅思作文6分好打就是因为只要没有基本错误加上论据和论证具体一点就能拿到了...
雅思大作文论点展开问题论点：It is important that young people learn to dev
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