1.arrange and receive使用不当,改为guide/lead a foreign...
2.早中晚动词前建议加could :we could eat snack...,we could visit... we could go...
3.语法错误 改为：we could go to enjoy the gorgeous view along the bund.
4.句子太平淡 改为 I think the schedule would be very full and wonderful.
5.最后一段太单薄,且volunteer用错,志愿者是你自己不是外国学生. 改为I hope I could have that opportunity to entertain our foreign friend and show the beauty of Shanghai to the world.
6.总结,全文句式单调内容单薄,不知字数要求,可再丰富些.