文章似乎不太符合主题.你只说问题解决了,人就会开心.无忧无虑为什么不算快乐,这点并没有很好地表达出来.怎么培养解决问题的能力也没有说.只是说你遇到问题会怎么解决.文章不符合主题,分数就应该会大大被扣.
至于较明显的错误：
I think the saying has much truth in it.Truth 拼错了.
As for society,everyone cannot...不需要 we everyone.
I should study hard to get more knowledge.不是 acknowledge.接下来用 acknowledge 的都不对.
I need to learn how to make good use of my knowledge to solve those problems.不是 the problem.根据前半句这里不应该用单数.
其他还算可以.当然如果是老师改的,可能会比较严苛.