好巧,我第二次考雅思前,只写过2个作文,这个就是其一!哈哈~"While with age grow up the percentage of carrer takes on decline trend,the percentage of interest take on increase trend."不是很好噢.用However,as age grows up,the percentage of~很少用take on吧,或者我没学过...直接用"begins/tends to decline" 不是"percentage of carrer",没有图的人不明白..除非你前面有交待,但貌似这个就是第一段了?
修改语法-雅思小作文开头 剑桥5 T2的