I've noticed that the library of my school hasn't enough books
这一句,应该是doesn't have 而不是hasn't
语法错误就这么一个,但是有很多地方的遣词用句需要改进,否则会严重影响文采分.如果不加以修改,这篇文章可以打15分（3分扣在：1分语法错误,2分文采）
had no choice but to read one book with another student.
"read“改成"share"
I like reading , so i have a lot of books,including some useless ones.
改成"I like reading and I have a plenty of books that I no longer need"
I think it's my duty to donate these books for my school
改成"I think I could a little favor for my school, donating these books. " （duty这个词太重了,你对学校没有那样严肃的义务责任关系,所以改成favor会好很多）
they will be helpful to many younger students
改成"I believe that they'll be beneficial to many younger students"