A friend of mine once told me of his first efforts to speak Japanese.He was working in an American company in Tokyo where all communication in the workplace was conducted in English,so he had no pressing need to learn the language.His wife,however,was taking Japanese lessons and passed on what she had learned to him.The first few times he aired his Japanese in public,his efforts were met with politeness but he nevertheless got the impression he was doing something wrong.Quite some time went by before one of his Japanese colleagues took up the courage to tell him that he spoke Japanese “like a woman” and explained that often different vocabulary is used for the same objects depending on whether a man or a woman is speaking.
Japanese is not the only language which makes such distinctions,and,although the vocabulary doesn’t change,research shows that gender can affect speech patterns in English too.Typically women use a higher frequency of softening devices ---- such as “I would think…”,“sort of” or “a bit/rather” ----than men do.This gives the impression of being unassertive,but is in fact intended as a politeness strategy.They also tend to frame requests or suggestions as questions,which can frequently lead to misunderstandings with men,who favor a more direct approach.Thus,when a woman asks her husband “Would you like to go out to eat tonight?” she is attempting to open up a discussion of the pros and cons of the idea.Frequently,however,she will be met by a disappointingly direct answer like “No,I’m tired” as the man assumes she merely wanted to know his opinion.
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