初中的英语作文能写成这样就很不错了.没有什么大的问题,做一些语序上的调整和纠正个别语法错误就好：
We study under too much pressure for too long every day.Proficients advise us to choose right ways to relax ourselves.Terry likes watching TV and playing computer games.He thinks these are good ways to relax himself.In my opinion,neither watching TV nor playing computer games is a good way to help us relax because they are bad for your eyes when staring at the screen for a long time.Terry also thinks hanging out with friends is the way for students to relax.I like hanging out with my best friends,too.I sometimes go shopping with them.Everyone has different ways to relax.
结尾很好,不必加其它的内容.