文笔不错,有几个小小建议.
That is the first impression as I got into that dark little playing room crowded with 8 patients.
我不明白什么叫little playing room,或许可以换成ward 病房,可以把that 换成the,并没有什么特指,我觉得不用that.
I wondered how any person could get so white that they are like vampires,only vampires are stronger while the patients were weak.
我觉得这两个句子之间要用except 或the difference between vampires and human is,否则有点confusion.
y team and I were all a bit nervous,forgetting all that we had prepared on the way there.there 有点confusion,还是把there 换成when we reached to the hospital
The fat little girl sounded perfectly normal when talking with us4
我觉得还是在talking with前面加上she is
If so,why should I even try to get near them 我觉得应该用get closer.
此乃本人意见,可能是either way is right,但我觉得这样更通顺些.
希望对你有所帮助