首句改为I love living ...++++++ love doing sth.为固定短语.
I always felt boring改为I always felt bored ,boring指人对事物感觉无聊,bored则指人本身觉得无聊.++++++
many people had the same felt as my feel now.改为many people have the same feeling as mine now. Same为形容词,后跟名词,feel的名词形式为feeling,另外后面的my feeling可改为mine来指代,可显得简洁些.++++++
you must feel boring again中的boring同样改为bored.另外你的again是不是表达得不太正确?可改为from time to time或其他的什么.+++++
may it can be my guiding star.改为Preheps it can become my guiding star你看怎么样?+++++
the night is getting deep.中的getting deep 应该为getting deeper,getting、becoming等词后面应该跟比较级,而非原形.+++++++++
i alse feel so,如果你是想表达also的话就稍显啰嗦了,可改为I feel so (as well)/, too +++++
as boring as hell.heaven forbid me,please. 表达不清.你可以说Life is boring as hell或The dark night (starry night/sky)is boring as hell.
而forbid的意思为 1.禁止,不许2.阻止,妨碍.与句意不太相符,你是不是想说forgive? ++++++++
i thought i needed found a girl ...的时态与全文又不符,应把needed found 改为 need to found. ++++
你的at long time ago又是什么意思?你的前半句的意思是“我觉得我应该在拥挤的大街中寻找一个女孩.”然后呢?“at long time ago”-“在很久以前”吗?+++++++
...ingered a long time. ? 应该改为who has ignoreme for a long time.
i cry inside of me 应改为I cry inside my heart. ++++
i cry hopelessly,cause my feard. 后半句可改为it also cause my fear.
最后一句可改为Thank you for seeing my date,thank you from the bottom of my heart -“感谢您看我的日志,衷心地感谢你” ++++
我一个一个字打的.希望对你有用.（其他朋友请勿复制哟）