I 【have 过去式,had】 a very interesting summer vacation this year.I spent my summer vacation with my family.
We went to【加：the】 park.【It's so beautiful and green.这句翻译出来好像有点问题,建议删去：and green】 There were many trees and flowers.There people were very finendiy.People were singing and dancing in the park.some were taking photos.【加：The】others were playing games.We had great fun playing in the park.
Next,we went shopping.the supermarket was too 【cranded 单词错误,拥挤是Crowded】.but the goods were great and 【加：the price were（商品不能用便宜来形容,便宜应该来形容价格）】cheap.so we bought some goods.we felt pretty happy.
This is my summer vacation,a joyful 【删去：and short（我觉得这个有点多余的吧）】vacation.I like it very much.
有问题的地方我都用【 】圈出来了,自己看看,这些都是我的意见,你可以考虑下.其实我觉得My summer vacation这个题,你写的作文本身好像就有点问题,这个题目应该是让你介绍你整个暑假的经历,当然不是让你把每一天的经历都写出来,大概的概况,例如什么我经常帮爸爸妈妈干家务,没事的时候我们去旅游去看望爷爷奶奶,我什么时候写作业,我一天大概是怎么安排的.你可以写这方面的东西,当然这些都是我个人的理解和建议,你可以不采纳,但是还是考虑下吧.希望英语越来越好哦~加油~↖(^ω^)↗