写的挺好的,我高中时候写不出你这么好的作文.说几点不足的地方吧.
1 the result of the discussion of whether students should give up high school extrance examination to study abroad. 可以改成 the discussion result of whether students should give up college entrance examination to study abroad. 这样句子会简练一些.
2 60% students are opposite to it, the reason of which is that it is not approriate to go abroad at such a young age. Plus, going abroad means a brand new life, which will surely add to their difficulties可以改成 60% of students could not agree with it because high school students are too young to adapt oversea lives which are full of challenges and difficults.在这里,because 表因为要比 as a result of 好一些,还有,连接2个句子一般不用plus这个词.
3 as far as the rest are concerned 可以改成 rest of us believed 简单明了些吗,哈哈.
4 with the knowledge playing an increasingly important role 可以改成due to the increasing role of knowledge. 这里有一个因果关系的,所以用due to 会好点.with 表伴随关系.
5 我不明白你最后几句话啊,你既然都同意多数人的观点了,为什么后面还说出国读书的好处啊?
加油!