第二行“,so busy,I have too homework to do and don't have enough time to play with friends ”我认为改为“I have too homework to doand don't have enough time to play with friends ,it's so busy."比较好.
第四行"one day"改为"today" "make a dream";“abrout”什么意思,你打错了吧!是”about"
第六行"haven't"改为“don't have","needn't study "改为"needn't to study"
第七行” later,I back home ”改为“at last,I go back home."
第八行”cartoonsat"没这个单词
第九行,"evening"改为"in the evening"
第十行“see the shy","sea the sea"
第十一行” need't pay "改为"needn't to pay"
十三行“is ringing"
从第四行到第十二行所有的"can"都去掉!