October 1st,首字母大写,1后加st.
最好是hold 不用 be performing,
Beijing,j 小写
golden week 好一些.
during this period好一些,你想表达的是这段时间,一段时间是period
be busy with,不要加ing.
seven-day holiday,或seven days' holiday
have a seven days' holiday 最好用将来时,will
trip 即可,travelling 就重复了
spending 没有现在分词表将来的含义,最好改为be going to spend
in home 改为 at home
get my dream come true 要是改为realise my dream 就更通顺了
所以改完后的全文是
Today is October 1st,the National Day.The sun is shining and the day is warm in the morning.What a wonderful day it will be!The country will hold a ceremony to celebrate the 58th anniversary of foundation of the People's Republic of China in Beijing.This week is called golden week,during this period,most of people who are busy with their work or study,such as workers,servants or students will have a seven-day holiday.Many people will go on a trip,but I am going to spend my vacation at home for some reason.It is a little pity that I cannot realise my dream of celebrating the National Day in Beijing.