Teacher and Student
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
Yes,said Landon,he couldn't help it,for you will recall the fact,doctor,that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.
Look in the pocket
A man walks into a bar,orders a drink,gulps it down,looks in his pocket then orders another one.
He gulps that one down,looks in his pocket again,then orders another one.
He does this about 7 or 8 more times when the bartender finally asks,"Every time you finish a drink you look in your pocket.What’s in your pocket?"
The man replies,"Oh...I have a picture of my wife in there.I drink until she looks good,then I go home."