4.5-5分,首先分段不明确,要么顶字隔行,要么隔2空格,一般英式习惯是顶字隔行.
其次没有什么高级词汇,你用了好多个such as,不妨多用同意替换,句式不丰富,主从宾从定从很少,几乎没看到.
递进和逻辑关系也不是很明显.
求帮改雅思作文Schools should concentrate on subjects thatwill be us
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